My Love/Hate Relationship with Writing

Writing is hard.

If you write, maybe you have a love-hate relationship with writing too.

As difficult as writing is for me, it has been a big part of my life. I started writing in journals and writing short stories and bad poetry at a young age. 

I did it for myself – because I felt compelled to. Writing was my refuge of sorts, a way to express my personal thoughts and feelings. A way to be creative.

But my relationship with writing changed significantly when I attended university.

The stress and anxiety of writing academic papers and foolishly pinning my self-worth on earning high grades worsened my perfectionist tendencies. 

I started perceiving writing with feelings of dread. I didn’t look forward to writing, it was no longer fun or a welcome escape – it felt like an exhausting and daunting chore. 

Writing became an act for judgment and evaluation rather than an act for creative self-expression.

I’m no longer in school; however, my relationship with writing remains conflicted and a source of stress and anxiety for me. 

But strangely enough, I can’t escape its hold on me no matter how I try to avoid it. 

I started the Ripped Jeans Journey blog as an outlet for expression and to try to “find my voice.” I hoped that having my own space on the internet would be what I needed to write freely, but that hasn’t been the case. 

It’s been a struggle. 

I feel like I lost my creative mojo.

And I’m on a journey to try to find it.