What Do You Want to Do with Your Life?
“What do you want to do with your life?
For many people, including myself, this is a daunting question.
“I don’t know.”
“I have no idea.”
“I wish I knew.”
When this question is directed at you, do you feel a pressure inside your chest? Do you feel ashamed that you don’t know?
I know I do. For me, the shame is amplified by the fact that I’m 50 years old. By social standards, I’m at an age where I should know what I want by now.
Well, I don’t.
Or do I?
If you were unabashedly honest with yourself, would you actually know the answer?
Is it possible that you do know what you want or have an inkling to it but are too afraid – too ashamed to admit it, to say it out loud, for fear of being laughed at or ridiculed?
Sometimes it’s scary to say out loud what we truly want and desire for ourselves.
It opens us up to judgment. It opens us up to criticism.
It puts us in the spotlight, because once we say what we want out loud, there’s the expectation to go after it. We have accountability. If we don’t say anything at all, we don’t have to feel the pressure of our own and others’ eyes on us to see if we will actually pursue what we want with our lives.
I watched a YouTube video where Mel Robbins gives advice on how we can figure out what we want to do with our life.
One of the questions she asks us to ask ourselves is this : “Who do you find yourself envious of?”
I think if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, this is a good question to ask yourself.
Become aware of who you pay attention to, and why.
It’s a good start. It’s a good way to discover what direction you may want to move toward.
With me, when I try to answer Mel’s question, I think of speakers and leaders. I find myself paying an inordinate amount of attention to people who are exemplary speakers and leaders.
Why do you think that is? Could it be because there’s a part of me, a part of me that I’m afraid to acknowledge, that wants to be like those speakers and leaders in one form or another?
Why do I admire them so much? Why do I observe them so closely?
I would watch TEDx talks and see all these speakers talk so effortlessly – AND without even having to use notes! They spoke so naturally, with such ease, assuredness and confidence. I would find myself thinking, I wish I could do that.
Returning to Mel’s advice, she goes on to say that once you figure out why you envy the people you’re envious of, go explore it for yourself.
It’s one thing to sit back and admire or envy someone for a quality they have, it’s another thing to try to emulate it yourself.
You may discover that it isn’t for you. But you won’t know until you try it out for yourself.
A few years ago, I joined a local Toastmasters group. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a global organization dedicated to cultivating public speaking and leadership skills.
I made just one official speech – the Icebreaker. It’s an introductory speech that all members prepare. I chose to speak about an experience of rejection – and how it was one of the proudest moments of my life.
For that speech, I set out to emulate the speakers I admired. My goal was to speak – without using my notes. I practiced HUNDREDS of times. I rehearsed over and over and over again. I was so well-prepared that I actually did accomplish my goal of speaking without using my notes. But I gotta admit the preparation was exhausting!
I didn’t make any more official speeches after the Icebreaker and I eventually left the group, but my experience helped me to realize that I liked speaking. I liked being able to use my words to potentially move people.
The people I admire – what qualities do they have in common that makes me pay attention?
They have a way with words. They know how to communicate effectively, with empathy.
They know how to make a connection.
They know how to move people.
And that is what I want.
Who are the people you admire? What traits or qualities do they have that you wish to emulate?
Why? Why do you think that is?
Could it be that those qualities are already inside of you just waiting to be realized?